I am all AMP'ed up

As with most home improvement projects, I learn something new every time.  Today, I was putting in recessed lighting and two new power circuits.   I learned 5 things,

1) The warning sign on ladders "Do not stand or sit on this step" is there for a reason.
2) Always double check to make sure the electricity is turned off.
3) Volts or Amps, it does not matter, 120 volts 15 amps will make you lose control of your bodily functions.
4) Even at 58 years of age, I can still dance and imitate a person with Tourettes Syndrome while on the top step of a  ladder.
5) I look good with spiked hair.

Reminders

Since 2004 I have been wearing a Livestrong bracelet.  The popularity of them has come and gone.  I still see a few people with them but not as many.  I have a love / hate relationship with mine.  It has been a good reminder to me to be thankful for my health and to live each day to it's fullest. That is something that should be in the forefront of my mind.   Like most people,  I get caught up in day to day life and I forget those simple things.  Then this simple silicon gel bracelet sort of snaps (no pun intended) me back to reality.  Makes me reflect on why I am wearing it, why I have been wearing it. 


Over the seven years I have thought about taking it off and getting rid of my inventory.  Maybe its time to quit wearing a piece of rubber on my wrist.  Maybe get some real jewelry.  But, just about that time, I read a Facebook post about my brother taking his friend to chemo, or I hear news that someone has made it two years cancer free, then I start thinking, maybe I should keep wearing the damn thing.   And then there was this week, when I got an email from a friend who is sleeping in a hospital room with a daughter that is losing the fight with cancer,, and it is at that time when I wish I had bigger arms and a lot more bracelets. 

East Texas Snipers

Well, it is getting close to deer hunting season and that means, I have to change my running habits.  I run some trails that go pretty close to several deer leases.  Getting shot while running is not on my bucket list. Actually, there is nothing in my bucket lit that involves getting shot. Drinking shots and a glamour shot, yes, but getting shot, nope.

I am not a hunter and I do not scorn those that are,, but, I am amazed and am on the border line of amused in a not funny kind of way.

• They put up feeders
• They build a deer blind that sits about 15 feet up off the ground and about 30-50 yards from the feeder
• They cut down all the trees between the deer blind and the feeder.
• They spray the blind and feeder with a chemical that eradicates the human scent.

About 5 weeks ago the hunters started showing up to fix up the blinds and stock the feeders.   When the season opens, they will get in their blinds and "hunt" for the unsuspecting deer as they come in for feed. 

I know that we have to manage the herds, have to conserve the resources and maintain our heritage / rights to hunt and ,blah, blah blah,, but seriously, is this really a sport?   I just don't get it.

From a financial part, hunters are paying for leases, feed, materials, travel costs, ammo, ATVs , food and who knows what else for about 180 pounds of meat and a wall hanging.  They are probably paying over $15.00 per pound of meat.  But, then again, I am a triathlete and have no room to be talking about the financial aspects of a hobby.

Life in Aisle 5

At the local grocery store, (local as in 20 miles away) , at the checkout stand, I was able to answer "No" when the clerk asked "Did you find everything you were looking for?".  I was not able to find any frozen dumplings.  She smiled at me and said, "well , let me fix that for you, I will be right back".  She left the checkout stand and sprinted towards the frozen food aisle.  When she came back, she had a box in her hand, and she said, "These here ain't as good as my Momma's , but I have to admit, they are pretty good.".  Seeing that it was a box, I knew she had the wrong kind of dumplings.  This was a box of "Sarah Anne Country Fair Chicken and Dumplings".   I thanked her and then told her that I was looking for Chinese Dumplings.  She looked at me and said, "Chinese don't know about dumplings like we do, these are good dumplings, you should try these".  Rather than explain fried dumplings, I became the proud owner of Sarah Anne Dumplings.   I did not mention how I could not find the Tahini,, that would be another exercise in frustration for both of us.  I can only imagine how that conversation would have gone.

The grocery stores in East Texas are a bit of a disappointment.  First off, as you see above, the selection is limited, which I can understand.  The part that I do not understand is that they are not kept very clean.  I maybe spoiled by the Central Market and Whole Foods type of stores.  The grocery stores here are HEB, Wal-Mart , Brookshire Brothers so these are not small Mom and Pop type places.  They are corporate owned businesses.  Somehow the "clean store policy" got lost or the store management just does not care.  It is widespread though so it may be a cultural thing.

Another thing that we have noticed is the overall unhealthiness of the people at the stores.  Again, I may be spoiled coming from Austin where you can't throw a rock without hitting a runner, cyclist, swimmer, yoga person, or vegan (unless they turn sideways).   There seems to be a large (pun intended) number of overweight people.  I mean it is a noticeable presence.  Between the overweight people, the people with Oxygen tanks and the ones on those electric carts, I feel like I am around Oompla-Loompa's playing Mario Cart on the deck of the Calypso.  

Gotta go, it is lunch time and I am having Chicken and Dumplings.

Thousand words are better than a picture

My office is in my Dad's old wood working shop.  It is a 13' x 15' building that I have dubbed, "The Man Cave".  My Dad built it himself and it used to be his "Man Cave" filled with saws, drills, workbenches and lots of cabinets. Somehow in his dealings, he came across a big plate glass window that used to be part of a patio window.  Being the "frugal" and creative man he was, he cut a big hole in the side of the building, framed it,  and put the patio window into the building. It was great because it let in a lot of light but it could not be opened to let in fresh air.

From the remodeling project,  I snagged a window that was taken out when we moved a wall.  This week, I took on the project to replace the man cave patio window with a real window that could be opened.  So, here is where the picture would have come in.

The before picture would be taken at 9:00 Saturday morning and it would be of the following tools that I planned on using to install the window.

• Step Ladder
• Hammer and nails
• Framing square
• Pry bar
• Tape Measure
• 8 foot 2 by 4
• Electric Circular saw

The second picture would be at 4:30 PM Saturday afternoon with the following tools added to the picture:

• Extension ladder (to reach the rotten wood I found)
• Crow bar (to pull away T-111 siding around the rotted area)
• Electric Saws-all (to cut away interior wall)
• R-19 Insulation bats (to replace insulation damaged in aforementioned activities)
• An empty can of wasp spray (Guess what I found in the walls?)
• Pneumatic Nail Gun (Because I got one!)
• Framing level
• Chalk line. stapler and utility knife
• Remains of 4x8 sheet of T-111, several 1x4's and another 2x4
• Box of Band-aids
• Pipe Wrench (Yes, to install  a window, I used a pipe wrench)
• Saw  horses 
• Miter Saw
• Looking close, you would also notice a glove that was accidentally nailed to the side of the man cave. Refer back to the band-aids.

I was happy to have it installed ad without breaking it, although, after all that work, I discovered that the window was defective. The lock was on the outside of the window.   

75944

The differences between living in the city and out here in the woods are without limits.  Everything from conveniences, culture, and quiet.  Like everything else there are good differences and less than good ones.  One of the most interesting changes has been the Post Office.  In the city, they are just there.  They are where you go to get stamps, drop off or pick up packages.  Mostly there are where you go to wait in a line with a bunch of strangers.   Here in Etoile, the Post Office is a huge part of everyone's life.  It is in a building that gets shared with the water company, the volunteer fire department and the community center.  There is an old bulletin board out front where they have announcements about fundraisers, fishing tournaments, and upcoming fish fry or BBQs.   For many people, "getting the mail" is just an excuse to go visit with others who are "getting the mail".   Most of the time there are more people gathered in front of the Post Office than they are actually in the Post Office.  The people who work there, both of them, know just about everyone by name, including Rose Mary and we have only been here about 5 weeks now.    In the city, I never gave the Post Office much thought, here it is a vital part of the community.

Thank goodness my Depends come in plain, unmarked packages.

Time to dust off the blog

So we sold our house in Austin, bought Mom's Lake house (aka "The Fish Camp"), moved in with our Daughter (aka "Kelly"), remodeled the Fish Camp, and eventually moved into the remodeled Fish Camp (aka "The Country Home".   So, if there ever was a time to start updating and writing, now is that time.  Well actually that time was about 5 months ago but profearination (procrastination and fear) made it difficult.  It has been in the back of my mind for many months to start blogging again,, so,, let me try it once more.

So, the "Country Home" is in Etoile Texas.  The house has been in family for close to forty years.  It's on a dirt road next to Sam Rayburn Reservoir.  It is about 15 miles to soft serve ice cream, 20 to HEB, 25 to the nearest Starbucks.  Consequently, I am saving a fortune because I am not buying coffee.  (NOTE - You might consider selling your stock in Starbucks. ) .  We moved in the first part of August. So we are still newbies at living in the woods.  I noticed that I have taken on the personality of a Meerkat.  At the first sound of anyone driving into the area,  I am up and out of the my chair, checking the windows, seeing who is driving in.  Trouble is, as quiet as it is here, we start hearing cars long before they can be seen.  The good part is that I don't have to go Meerkat that often. 

We still have a lot of moving into do.  It is actually fun going through boxes and getting reacquainted with my "stuff".   When we packed up in Austin, I packed the charger for my electric screwdriver.  I kept the screwdriver out to take apart and put together things.  Eventually, the screwdriver an out of charge.  Sadly, I could not find the charger anywhere, so I put away the screwdriver.  Yesterday, I found the charger!!  Sadly, I cannot find the screwdriver.  I did find the toilet plunger,, small victories!

Well, gotta go,, I hear someone driving in. 

I punched myself in the face!

I started to title this "No Good deed goes unpunished" but I realized that I did not really know what that meant. A quick Google search yielded more than a few sites where the topic is "What does no good deed goes unpunished mean?". What I found is that not only are there several opinions on what this means, there are also some discussion on who actually said it. So, I decided to title it, I punched myself in the face.


The last time I was at DFW Airport, I was headed to the Skylink station to get from Terminal B to Terminal C and my flight back to Austin. I was almost to the escalators when an old man (older than me) caught my attention. I could tell that he was sort of confused and not sure if he should get on the escalator. He wanted to get to Terminal D so I told him that he was headed in the right direction. I told him that if he felt safer, there was also an elevator that would take him up to the Skylink station. He said no, and that he was fine with the "moving stairs". I walked beside him and led him to the escalator. I could tell that he was uneasy about getting on so I held his arm and helped lead him on. He quickly grabbed the handrails. caught his balance and steadied himself against the momentum of the stairs. I stepped on several steps behind him. I was watching him and came to the realization that someday, I will be in his shoes, so I was glad that I helped him and I wondered if when I got that age, will someone help me? As we were riding the stairs up, he dropped his attaché case. It did not go far, it just dropped at his feet. Slowly, he braced himself with one hand and bent over to pick it up with the other. As he strained against the forward motion of the escalator and the power he needed to bend over, he let loose with a rather large fart. Not small and quiet, but big and loud.

Quick break for a physics lesson. Newton's First law of motion says that a body in a state of motion tends to remain in motion unless an external force is applied to it. Newton's Third Law of Motion says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, by applying Newton's First and Third law, I came up with Opre's Theory of Stalled State Air which states that if you fart on an escalator, the fart ceases all motion, and just hangs in the air. It is also known as "Something wicked this way comes" by everyone else coming up from behind.


Okay, back to DFW,, I do not know if Opre's Theory of Stalled State Air is provable or not but in the fraction of a second that I established the theory, I also formulated my defensive tactics to avoid the oncoming odor, which was basically to flail my arms around in a fanning motion. So, as the escalator carried me forward into the danger zone, I started swinging my arms around wildly as if I was swatting at an attacking bee. That is when I punched myself in the face.

The Fountain of Youth

While traveling,  I think I have discovered the long lost Fountain of Youth!!! Well, it is not really a fountain, it is more like a portal, no it is not really a portal either, it is a metal detector, the Metal Detector of Youth. You see what I noticed is that on one side of the TSA screening process, there is a line of adults. They are orderly and are following directions. They managed to get to the airport by obeying signals and following directions. Somehow after they pass through the Metal Detector of Youth, and get on the secure side of the airport, they become little kids. They still have their adult bodies but if you watch closely you will see that they take on all the traits of a small kid. Here is what I noticed:

1. They do not listen to instructions. In the boarding area, the gate agent instructs everyone, "Please do not stand in front of the gate, we will be boarding by groups. You can get in line when your group number is called". What do all the adults do? They stand in front of the gate. Even though they are in Group 3,287 , they stand in the way. And, just like kids, they are oblivious to all traffic around them.
2. They do not know how to count. Walking down the aisle, with ticket in hand, they stop every two steps to look at their ticket seat number, then they look up at the row numbers. Take two steps, stop, check the ticket ,, check the row. Two more steps, double check ticket, double check the row number. For some reason, these adults lost the comprehension that row numbers are sequential and that the ticket will not change. Also, they seem, to think that the airline might be playing a trick on them and might rearrange the seat letters. I think they double check it because they are afraid, one row might be seats A, B, C, D, E and F,, the next row will have seats X, R, the symbol for Pi, T and a seat named Rodney.
3. They lost the ability to recognize spatial limitations. There will be an overhead compartment with enough space available to fit a shoebox. People will get on the plane and try to squeeze their carry-on luggage into that space. When that does not work, they try staring at it. When staring at the opening does not work they look around, open a few other compartments and then go right back and try to fit their bag into the shoebox size opening, again. Sometimes they turn the bag around, as if that will reduce it's size. In one direction the suitcase might be 3 feet in length but when you turn it around, it becomes 2 feet in length. Suddenly they are David Copperfield.
4. Déjà-vu,, They do not listen to instructions. Several times during the boarding process, you will hear the flight attendant say, put your roller boards into the overhead compartment on the D-E-F side of the plane, wheels first. We can accommodate more luggage's that way. If you brought on more than one carry-on, the smaller of the two, does under the seat in front of you. Please keel you coats in you lap until everyone has had a chance to put their bags in the overheads". I have heard this hundreds of times and hundreds of times, I watch the "adults" completely ignore the instructions. All their bags, coats, computers and possibly their shoes and pants, end up in the overhead. Meanwhile, as more people get on, they run out of overhead space because people have put all their worldly possessions in the overhead compartments.  Maybe the airlines should take a page out of the Montessori Method and teach passengers about shared spaces.

There are plenty of other examples that I could relate but I have to turn off my computer now, pack it up and move. Seems that I sat in the wrong seat.  Doh!!!

New Years Resolutions

Resolutions usually come with some kind of deadline.   On such and such a date, I resolves to quit smoking, or on 31st of February, I will change my diet and lose weight.  The most famous and most common date for resolutions is New Years day.  It is so famous and is so ingrained into our culture that companies have huge marketing campaigns around it.  Auto company's, fitness companies, wight loss programs,, all have some kind of campaign to capitalize on the pressure people put on themselves to have a New Years Resolution.  Sad to say, I am no different, I have made many New Years resolutions.  Most of the time, I falter within a few days of starting a resolution, or in most cases, I never actually take the plunge and commit to the resolution.  It may be middle of May and I am still chewing on other peoples nails, regardless that I promised to not do that in the new year.   This year is different.  This year I resolved and committed myself to writing more. I want to jot down more of my thoughts, opinions, and stories.  Oops, nix the writing about thoughts,, no material.   I really enjoy writing but have always been apprehensive about putting it out there.  I am always afraid of being judged.  In some cases this fear of judgement by others is good. As an example, it is one of the things that keeps me from streaking.  So, anyway, this year I resolved to write more.  I am happy to report that I am right one schedule.  After a long absence and one day into the new year and I have written the first of many updates.    Happy Chinese New Year everyone,

Lu Chow "Skipper" Huang