Jet lag immunity

First things first.  Everyone warned me about jet lag.  I heard all about how my sleep cycles would be messed up and how I would be sort of goofy during the days following my return form Australia.  All I have to say is that I don't think I caught this jet lag bug.  I stayed up till 3:30 AM just to see if I had jet lag and it was non-eventful.  Okay, first things first, I want to talk about jet lag. 

Actually, I am putting this whole, can't sleep thing to good use.  Since I am awake and watching more TV than I usually do, I am getting a heavy dose of commercials and infomercials.  One in particular caught my attention.  It claims that the average mattress doubles in weight after 8 years due to sweat, dead skin cells, and the millions of dust mites that take up residence in the mattress.   The average mattress weighs around 90 pounds so that means after 8 years, it weighs 180 pounds.  I am guessing that it is a linear growth, so it gains about 11.25 pounds per year.  I got out the old slide rule and did a few calculations.  Based on the weight of a dust mite and skin cells, it would be impossible for the mattress to double in weight.  Unless there are 8 people sleeping in the bed on a 24 hour basis.  So, I came to the conclusion that this doubling of weight, is a fraud.  It is just a big scare tactic to get people to buy a new mattress.

In the course of my investigation, I discovered that my wife does not like being woke up at 3:00 AM, so I can weigh the mattress with the bathroom scale.  I am now doing some calculations about how soon I need to replace my couch, because that is where I am sleeping.  No one said science was easy.  I am sure that Einstein caught a lot of grief when he was inventing the bagel.

Okay, maybe I caught a little jet lag.

Home again

It is strange how being out of town, it felt like a long time but now that I am home, it seems like it flew by. Of course it could be jet lag. Who knows.
We finished up our work in Melbourne a two days early so, I was able to get home a little earlier than planned. The flight back was long. I was trying to figure it out, how many hours I was on the road. And to be very honest, I am not really sure. It is somewhere between 5 hours and three days, depending on if you are using Melbourne time, Austin time, or if you are sitting next to a crying baby. By the way, "Crying Baby" is code for "Old woman who farts a lot". Once again, I was blessed with an odd seat-mate. This one definitely goes on the list. How did I know it was he? Because just about the time I thought a "baby was crying", the old woman would look around, with a quizzical look on her face like she was trying to see whose "baby had cried". Lucky, lucky me. Okay, I should be thankful and look on the bright side that I was able to go to Australia . At the same time,  I am also thankful for background sounds and noise-cancelling headphones. And no, I did not challenge her to a contest. I am much too mature for that. I did think about it though. "Bring it on old woman! The light is green!". I only thought about it for a little bit, because, once again, too mature. 

My first impressions of Melbourne were from the people manning the posts at customs and immigration and when leaving, it was the people at airport security. From start to end, the people I came in touch with were pleasant, helpful and very considerate. That was pretty much the way it was my entire time in Australia. Everyone was wonderful. It makes it so much easier when in a different place and there is an air of hospitality. When talking to people they were very interested in hearing about Texas and more than once, asked how I liked Melbourne. Many people offered up interesting places to check out while I was there. It was a great visit. A lot of long hours of work, but I cannot complain. Wait, yes I can, but I won't.

I am glad to be home. It was strange to be away for so long. One of the things I noticed when I got home was that someone had taken a flamethrower to the lawns in the neighborhood. I guess it has been hot here??

Now, it is time to get back to normal, or as close as I can come to it. Half-Maxx is coming up fast and I need to put training in high gear. I have to get my diet back under control. I did my best to watch what I ate while away, but with the erratic schedule, lack of Quinoa and steel cut oats, I did not fare well.

I wish I could tell you about

an amazing weekend of being a tourist and exploring more of Australia's wonders.  But, I can't.  I have mostly been working, thus the lack of blogging.  My view has pretty much been restricted to my hotel room.  Don't think that I missed out on taking in the sights though.  I managed to walk around Melbourne and explore a bit.  This city has all sorts of bars and restaurants tucked away in the alleys.  Sometimes, you can hear the music coming from a place or you can see a bunch of people standing out in the alley.  This is not just in a few places, they are scattered all over the city. 

I took the bus down to St. Kilda beach and walked around there.  The area is full of restaurants and pubs.  Lot's of characters.  I spotted Melbourne's version of Austin's Leslie.  Nothing to worry about, Austin still holds first place when it comes to old, bearded, transvestites.  I have no idea what the ranking is based on, just trust me on this one. 

I ran into an old friend from Austin.  He was hanging out near the Royal Exhibition Hall, which is in the photo above.   Some of you may recognize this guy.    The next day, we met up at the Docklands and did some touring around.  Docklands is amazing, it seems to be a new development in Melbourne.  There is a lot of construction down in the area.  The docks are full of yachts, big yachts. 

I know it is very narcistic of me, but I needed some proof that I was in Melbourne so I took a picture of my shadow.  That is the sillotte of the Backpack-o-Fun, not my ass sticking out.  I know that I look taller but trust me, that is the angle of the sun. and yes, I had my eyes closed when I snapped the picture.  I should have taken the time to retake it.

I have just a few more days so I am hoping that I can get out and see a bit more of the city.  I have had a great time here, and now I am ready to get home.  Three weeks is a long time to be away.

Here is why I am not allowed to drive in Melbourne

Here is a picture of what is referred to as a Melbourne Hook Turn. Bear in mind that in Australia they drive on the left-hand side of the road. Only in Melbourne do they have the hook turn, that is why they call it a Melbourne Hook Turn. Pretty ingenious, eh? They use the hook turn in order to facilitate a right turn in intersections where there is a lot of through traffic and trolleys. Basically, the driver who wants to turn right, moves into the left side of the intersection and allows the through traffic to move by. Then when they get the chance, they turn right. Sometimes there are two or three cars sitting in the intersection. And in most cases, they usually make the turn after the light has turned red. That is where the horns come in.

I mentioned the Shrine of Remembrance.  This is a picture of it, as well as a shot of Melbourne from the upper balcony of the Shrine.  Inside the shrine is a stone tablet that is below the floor, where you have to bow your head to read "Greater love hath no man" that is engraved on the stone.  There is a portal in the side of the shrine up high on one side.  On Remembrance Day, November 11 at 11:00 they have a moment of silence in remembrance of Australians who lost their lives in war.  At the same time, the portal focuses a beam of sunlight that travels across the inside of the Shrine and crosses over the stone and it lights up the word "Love" as the Earth moves around the sun.

I mentioned the library that I stumbled upon. It was the State Library of Victoria.  Here are a few pictures of it.  The pictures do not do it justice because of the sheer size of the place.  Every floor was full of tables and research desks, everyone was full.  There were so many people there and it was a Sunday afternoon.  The picture on the right is of the dome. 

I have several pictures of the Botanical Gardens, but due to a recent revelation, I found out that a certain, un-named family member, hates trees.  So, I won't talk about the tree's lest my daughter get upset and go anti-arbor on me again.  Take that Tree Hater!

Here is a picture of the deluxe accommodations that the company put me up in, after I got kicked out of the Holiday Inn for excessive flushing. 

Weekend in Melbourne

First off, thanks to all my great friends and their beer recommendations.  I will ask that they include some hangover remedies next time.

 

I had an amazing weekend of being a tourist by randomly stopping in the middle of intersections and staring up at buildings.  That got tiring so I started asking strangers for directions to places I had already been.

 

I  started off the weekend with a long run along the Yarra River (pronounced Yarra).  I ran this trail last week and was amazed at all the bike commuters.  On Saturday, the trail was full of runners.  They were not quite as many runners as we see in Austin on Town Lake trail but there were quite a few of them.  The rowers though were another story.  There must have been 30-40 boats out on the river.  Their coaches would be riding on the trail with megaphones shouting out the drills and instructions.   Speaking of the trail, they run on the left side of the trail, just like when drive on the roads.  Some idiot forgot that for a short spell and I almost got ran over. 

 

I won’t go into the gory details of being a tourist, (you can thank me now) other than to say Melbourne is pretty amazing, lots to see and do.  Really nice place to visit, lot’s of history and there are many side alleys with little shops, pubs  and coffee shops in them. 

 

They Shrine of Remembrance is a monument to all the Australians who lost  their lives in war.  I was at the Shrine, on Saturday, the same day that they announced that an Australian soldier was killed in Afghanistan.  They had a moment of silence and it was pretty sobering to be there at that moment.  And that is about all I have to say about that.

 

My crazy magnet was in overdrive on Sunday.  I rode the tourist bus around town because the weather was a little bit on the nasty side.  Of all the seats open on the bus, Mr. Crazy Old Man sat next to me.   Yep,, that was the longest bus ride of my life.  Besides being somewhat incoherent, he was hard of hearing so having any conversation was near impossible.  I did not want to seem rude so I tried to carry on as close to a conversation as is possible.  I got off the bus about a mile shy of where I wanted to be, but it was away from where I did not want to be, sitting next to Crazy old Man.

 

Vega might Not

In 1982, Men at Work, released the song “Down Under”.  In the song. A six foot man, full of muscles gives someone a Vegemite sandwich.  It was not a simple matter for him to just answer the question, “are you from the land down under?” he avoids the question, smiles and hands off the Vegemite sandwich.  I think that worst part of this song is that it started an odd curiosity in Vegemite.  When people heard that I was headed to Melbourne, some of them asked, “You going to have a Vegemite sandwich?” .  To be honest, I did not have any intention of going out of my way to try Vegemite but, there at breakfast, they had small packets of Vegemite.   When I saw these small packets,  I decided to give it a try.  Just a small taste.  Vegemite is black, and gooey.  It does not wiggle like jello it just sits there.  Unfortunately, I did not smell it to see if it had an odor.  If I had, I probably would not have put two very small drops of it on the end of a fork.  I figured that would be enough to get a taste and if I liked it, I could double it up to four small drops.  Slowly, I put the fork in my mouth, and cautiously licked the stuff off my fork.    As soon as I put it into my mouth I had a full body dry heave.    My face immediately contorted into what I think could have been an impression of Popeye.  It took a minute to relax my face.  I can honestly say that Vegemite is evil.  When the four horseman come, they will be bringing Vegemite with them.  I always wondered what they did with all that stuff from EPA Superfund clean-up sites,  I now know that they  collected it all together, mixed it with lots of salt and packaged it under the name Vegemite.  The six-foot guy, full of muscle gives the Vegemite sandwich,, with a smile.  The lyrics do not state this but it was a sadistic, evil, mean-spirited smile.  I have no idea why someone would give another person a Vegemite sandwich and then smile about it.  I guess if the other person was  Sarah Palin or a cast member of Jersey Shore, that is okay.  Other than that, I think it would just be mean to hand one of these to someone.   

 

While I am at it, I was also asked to verify or unmask the urban legend that water goes down the drain in a clockwise direction here in the southern hemisphere, opposite to the Northern hemisphere where it goes down the drain in a counter-clockwise direction.  So, as the designated Mythbuster from Austin, I checked it out.  I ran multiple experiments using the bathroom sink, the toilet and the bathtub.  After several hours, 30 gallons of water, complaints from the hotel manager and scientific analysis, I can honestly say that, it is a fifty-fifty mix, sometimes one direction and sometimes the other.  The exception to that is the toilet, it has a power flush which forces the flow in a clockwise direction.  There you have it, it just does not matter.  At least in the Holiday Inn.  For a conclusive examination of the subject,  I will be checking the theory out at the Hotel Essex later today because of my recent eviction from said Holiday Inn.

 

 

Where did Day 3 in Melbourne go?

Day 1, then Day 2 and then supposedly there should be Day 3 in Melbourne.  Well I had good intentions of  writing about my day three but something happened.  First off, it was another work day so you know that means I had to work.  I had hoped that while here in Melbourne I could stay with my training program.  The hotel web site showed a nice fitness center and a swimming pool.  True, they did have a fitness center and they did have a pool but both are woefully small. In typical hotel fashion, the fitness room is a closet with three pieces of equipment, an exercise bike, a treadmill and a mop.  The mop was the most modern piece of equipment.  Luckily there is a health club around the corner from the hotel so I got a three week membership.  I negotiated a cheap price with them.  I was brutal with them.  It was tough but I got the price down cheap and the only concession is that I cannot use the showers, sauna, and steam room.  I do not have access to any lockers and cannot use the hair dryers.  I can only use the gym between the hours of 12:00 Noon and 12:15.  But, here is where I whittled them down, I get unlimited use of their mop.

 

All of that has nothing to do with Day 3 except that I came back to the hotel room after doing some mop presses.  I fired up the computer, laid down on the bed and woke up in Day 4 in Melbourne.

 

I did have lunch in a small noodle shop in Chinatown.  My table was right next to the kitchen, as were the other three tables.

 

So to summarize Day 3,  work, noodles, mop and sleep.

 

Good night / morning / day,, whatever

 

 

Day 2 in Melbourne

Today was a work day so, I had to work.  I did get a chance to walk along the Yarra River and explore that section of town.  Very new section of the city. Lots of shopping, theatres and a casino. Two distinct sections of the city, one side of the river is new and polished.  The other side is older and has much more character.  The city is having their Winter Carnival right now so there is a lot going in the newer section.  Ice skating, polka music and vendors selling meats on a stick, funnel cakes and hot chocolate. Oh, and beer.

Speaking of beer, they sell it, wine and hard liquor on Sundays.  Yesterday, I spotted two guys walking down the street with cases of beer on their shoulders.  That struck me as odd when I saw that. 

I found my way to Fitzroy Gardens on Sunday while exploring the city. The park is absolutely gorgeous. The grass is so green and the trees are large and varied. I have no clue what types of trees these are but they range from some without leaves (It’s winter here) , some are tropical palms and some are Evergreens. There is one type of tree here that has a bunch of trunks growing up from the base. There are 6-10 trunks all growing up from a central base. You can climb up and just sit in there amongst the tree trunks.


They have one tree that has all sorts of fairies, and animals carved into the trunk. It was crafted by a local artist in 1931 and donated to the children of Melbourne. It is known as the Fairy Tree. There are all sorts of “fairy vignettes” carved into this tree. Lot’s of frolicking and dancing amongst toadstools and foxes. It also has a darker more sinister side. The tree has Fairies stuck in spider webs and being attacked by a spider. There is an Eagle carved into the tree, it is flying and in its claws is a fairy. I am sure that the artist had the best intentions but what scary images she portrayed. I guess kids growing up here just take it all in stride and that maybe why the Australians are so tough. Putting all these scary images on a tree and donating that to children,, she might as well have written a song for kids that has imagery of the great plague.

Also in the Fitzroy Gardens is a miniature Tudor village donated to the citizens of Melbourne from the English. After World War 2, the people of the UK were experiencing food shortages and the Melbournites donated food. In recognition of that gesture, people from the UK made this entire Tudor village and sent it over to Melbourne. The houses and buildings are less than knee high. Each house or building is very detailed. Sadly, it is all fenced in and you cannot walk around in the village. I really wanted to see what it felt like to be a giant.

Most of the trees in the Gardens had sheet metal wrapped around their trunks. I figured it was for keeping squirrels off the trees, or may be to keep kids from climbing up the trees. Nope,, not so. Turns out they have an over-population of, ready for this, Possums. Not just one type of possum, two types. Who would have thought that? If they had the Australian version of East Texas redneck, they would not have that problem. They may end up having to put the possum on the endangered species list. Maybe we can send over some recipes.

Tomorrow is another work day, so I am thinking that I may have to work , again.   I do have big plans to try me some Vegamite!   
 
Another thing that I love about this city, Pubs and coffee houses, there are lots of them, everywhere. 

Day 1 in Melbourne

Okay, it is around 5:30 on Sunday evening here in Melbourne. It is 2:20 AM back in Austin. I arrived here at 8:00 after a 15 hour flight from LAX. That was the longest flight that I have ever been on and it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. My only complaint is with one screaming brat who was on the flight. Initially I thought the kid was in pain from the pressure, but after several hours of on again, off again crying, I figured it was just bratiness and I was right. After the flight while clearing immigration, I heard the familiar sounds of "the brat". She was screaming again due to who knows what. Her parents were trying to bargain her into silence. Naturally, it did not work.
A couple of immediate observations, the people here are amazingly friendly. First time here and I have had to rely on several people for assistance and they have been great. From the folks at the Bus counter, the bus driver, immigration and customs, everyone, repeat, everyone has been nice, polite and friendly. Another thing I noticed was that they had a large number of service dogs working customs. I saw 6 of them just in my little section of the customs area. While I was there, the dogs busted a little Chinese Lady. She may have had some General Tsao's Chicken in her suitcase.
There was a customs officer working the line doing random interviews of people in line. She came by me and asked the following:
Her: Carrying any agricultural items?
Me: No
Her: Nuts or beans?
Me: No
Her: Apples, bananas, oranges?
Me: No
Her: Any Mayonnaise?
Me: Mayonnaise?
Her: Just checking to see if you are listening.
We both laughed; little did she know that I was carrying other condiments in my suitcase.
I made it into my hotel room and did a quick walking tour of the area. I am staying right downtown so there is a lot to see.
I toured through St. Patrick's Cathedral which is a lot like St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City. But in a cathedral to cathedral match-up, Melbourne kicks New York's butt. Around the main altar, there were 8 "mini-altars". It was like a buffet of altars. If you did not like one, you could keep moving down the line and select another one. One more winning factor, wooden ceilings. In fact, Melbourne's St. Pat has lots of wooden architectural features.
I toured the Fitzroy Gardens, Treasury Gardens and the Gold Treasury Museum. I will write more about them later.
Before I go though, I came across this sign, and I am not sure what behavior forced them to put this up.

Good night / morning,,