Dirt Magnet

Almost every wedding reception that I have been to has included the one boy who is running all over the place, all jacked up on cake and punch. He is climbing under tables, running around. His pants are all dirty, his shirt is untucked and he is covered with red punch stains. In general, he is totally messed up. That was me last night.

I was unloading my bike from my car when I noticed an empty Gu wrapper. I picked it up and suddenly realized that it was a partially empty Gu wrapper. By the time I picked it up, it really was empty because the remaining contents had oozed out onto my hand. I tossed the wrapper into the recycle bin and went to get a rag for my sticky hand. The rag was next to a pile of recycle newspapers and I ended up with paper stuck on my hand. I ripped that off, except for one tiny little piece that was stuck to my fingers. Before unloading my bike, I changed out my trainer wheel to the road wheel, which meant wrestling with the chain. So, now I am sticky, dirty, and greasy. Taking my bike off the car and hanging it onto the ceiling bike hooks , I soon discovered that I left about a half a bottle of Carbo-Pro / Nuun mixture in a my aero-bottle. Current status – sticky, dirty, greasy, wet, and really sticky.

Onward and upward, I managed to get my bike rack off the car without too much problem. I did however find one more empty Gu wrapper. This one was older than the other so it did not have anything in it. I picked it up and tried to toss it out but due to my sticky fingers, it remained stuck to my hand. I shook my hand really hard, back and forth, and it finally came off.

Without further incident, I made it into the bathroom to get cleaned up. What I saw in the nirror was the adult version of the kid you see at the wedding reception. What I did not anticpate was the Gu wrapper that was stuck to the side of my head.