First things first. Everyone warned me about jet lag. I heard all about how my sleep cycles would be messed up and how I would be sort of goofy during the days following my return form Australia. All I have to say is that I don't think I caught this jet lag bug. I stayed up till 3:30 AM just to see if I had jet lag and it was non-eventful. Okay, first things first, I want to talk about jet lag.
Actually, I am putting this whole, can't sleep thing to good use. Since I am awake and watching more TV than I usually do, I am getting a heavy dose of commercials and infomercials. One in particular caught my attention. It claims that the average mattress doubles in weight after 8 years due to sweat, dead skin cells, and the millions of dust mites that take up residence in the mattress. The average mattress weighs around 90 pounds so that means after 8 years, it weighs 180 pounds. I am guessing that it is a linear growth, so it gains about 11.25 pounds per year. I got out the old slide rule and did a few calculations. Based on the weight of a dust mite and skin cells, it would be impossible for the mattress to double in weight. Unless there are 8 people sleeping in the bed on a 24 hour basis. So, I came to the conclusion that this doubling of weight, is a fraud. It is just a big scare tactic to get people to buy a new mattress.
In the course of my investigation, I discovered that my wife does not like being woke up at 3:00 AM, so I can weigh the mattress with the bathroom scale. I am now doing some calculations about how soon I need to replace my couch, because that is where I am sleeping. No one said science was easy. I am sure that Einstein caught a lot of grief when he was inventing the bagel.
Okay, maybe I caught a little jet lag.
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